“Sometimes People Really Do Grow Apart” – Why Cardi B’s Divorce Is Resonating Across the Country
Rappers Cardi B and Offset have been on again, off again for the last four years. Their first breakup was very public, and their reconciliation was, too: Offset allegedly spent $15,000 on a sign made of flowers, which was rolled out onto the stage during one of her headlining performances. So, if you assumed that their most recent breakup would be equally public, that’s a fair assumption.
But that is not what happened. Instead, Cardi quietly filed for divorce in Fulton County, Georgia on September 15th – just shy of their third wedding anniversary – citing “no prospects for a reconciliation.” She is seeking physical and legal custody of their child, Kulture, as well as legal fees, and an equitable division of assets, which could mean there is no prenuptial agreement.
This year has brought a spate of celebrity divorces, and people are taking them hard – but Cardi B and Offset’s divorce “feels” different, somehow. It could be the lack of fanfare, given how public their courtship, breakup, reconciliation, and family life has been. It could be Cardi’s adamant denial of rumors that Offset cheated on her.
Realistically, it is because of how honestly ordinary her reason is for filing for divorce. When she discussed her divorce on Instagram Live on September 18th, Billboard reports, she told her audience “Nothing crazy out of this world happened, sometimes people really do grow apart. I been with this man for four years. I have a kid with this man, I have a household with this man…sometimes you’re just tired of the arguments and the build up. You get tired sometimes and before something happens, you leave.”
Even celebrities fall out of love
Think about the last few months (or even years) of celebrity divorce news. We know Kelly Clarkson appears heartbroken. We know The Chicago White Sox are worried about Michael Kopech. We know Dr. Dre’s net worth because Nicole Young challenged the pre-nuptial. We have seen celebrity couples who issue joint-statements, who fall apart at the seams, who claim their divorce is terrible news – only to have a new partner within weeks and a baby on the way.
In short, we have read and analyzed a tremendous amount of drama.
But sometimes, people simply get tired. Couples fall out of love. People make a go of it and it does not work, and there is nothing to be done but move forward and move on.
The no-fault divorce
In New York, under Domestic Relations Law §170, couples who wish to divorce because their marriage is “irretrievably broken” can file for no-fault divorce, when there is no grounds for the dissolution. Before 2010, a couple needed to cite one of six grounds for divorce:
Cruel and inhuman treatment
Abandonment for at least one year
Imprisonment for at least three years starting after the marriage began
Divorce after a legal separation agreement
Divorce after a judgement of separation
The couple who falls out of love, or realizes that their marriage simply does not work, can cite the “irretrievable breakdown” of their relationship for at least six months as a reason to file for no-fault divorce. Interestingly, New York was the absolute last state in the nation to allow no-fault divorce, which for years had been opposed by diverse interests, including the National Organization for Women, and the Catholic Church. But political pressure eventually forced the state to change the law – most divorcing couples did not want to have a fight on their hands. Most spouses splitting up just want to resolve things in the easiest way possible – drama is not the rule.
Cardi B is controlling this narrative
Cardi B started as an internet celebrity, joined a reality TV show, and released two mixtapes before she signed with Atlantic Records. Since then, she’s won multiple awards, set some Guinness records, secured sponsorship deals, and released a fashion line. She has weathered her fair share of controversies, including a criminal indictment on felony charges, which may affect her child custody plans if she is found guilty and goes to prison.
And yet all anyone is talking about is her divorce, and what her side of the story is. There appears to be very little information available about what Offset has to say, meaning Cardi B is fully in charge of the narrative of this divorce. Her decision to file for no-fault grounds, and to publicly (and repeatedly) say that there is no adultery could end up helping Offset more than it helps her – especially because there appears to be no prenuptial or postnuptial agreement in place.
In general, we should assume that Cardi is the exception to the rule, not the norm. Her divorce may be ordinary, but her life is not. You really need a team of professionals who can help you, because eventually, the headlines do change. You want to make sure that they change for the better.